Gentle Lovers

it’s been an exciting season for tony and dan’s scab competition.  danimal’s early spring efforts in concrete eating earned him the majestic unicorn trophy for several months, and i thought he had it pretty well locked up after losing a couple square ft. of skin at tabor. i dug deep and countered a few weeks ago with a solid high speed lay-down 55 miles from home, but without any tooth replacement or stitches i would remain firmly in the second spot.  it was crunch time, and i knew it would take a great performance to take back the trophy.  with competitors from the furthest reaches of the region and crowds overflowing the stands, this years AVC was my chance to strike.  ten laps to go in the scratch race a combination of overlapping wheels, swerving, and decelerations earned me some time unconscious and a firm lead in the ‘08 battle for scabs. just like the yellow jersey, the weight of the unicorn is heavy on my shoulders. will i need some late summer crit mishaps to hold onto the majestic icon?  will another lover step up to contend the title?  with all our new trackies and training for cross right around the corner, it’s really any one’s unicorn.  i’ll enjoy it while it lasts.

photo credit: Heather V

We test a lot of products here at GL HQ. Most of them are fine– they do their job as advertised. But every now and again, something comes across our radar that, well, knocks our socks off.
Case in point: SockGuy’s new custom Gentle Lover socks. On first inspection you might be tempted to say, “What’s the big deal? Those look just like the whole pile of socks I have in my drawer.” Au contrair, mon frer. Didn’t your mother ever teach you that you can’t judge a book by it’s cover? These are not just socks. No, these are not simply an article of clothing meant to slip on between your bare feet and your shoes. These are a delicate blend of art, nylon, ultra wicking micro denier acrylic, and pure, head-turning speed.
Not since I upgraded from aluminum to carbon bottle cages has one piece of equipment so immediately improved my performance. On my usual daily ride (174km, 3,000m elevation gain) I put these “socks” (more like rocket powered foot-sleds) to the test. The result? Let’s just say that without the new socks, climbing the Col du Saltzmone (12km 1800m gain, average 14.5%) took me a hair under 27 minutes. With the socks: a new personal best of 25 minutes 34 seconds 3 tenths. My sustained power output for the 25 minutes was an astronomical 800 watts. Seriously, these things are better than EPO.
Perhaps it’s the subtle cushioning under my foot that facilitated such a bone crushing effort. Or maybe simply the knowledge that, with these new socks on my dogs, I looked so hott I couldn’t be stopped. Either way, you better believe I won’t ever leave home without these bad boys on my feet. Oh yeah, and too bad for you…but unless you’re a Gentle Lover, you won’t be able to buy these in stores.

so much bike racing, so little updating.  between all the weekly stuff, man-dates, and primping, it’s tough to keep our internet land fresh. let’s see… danimal was mixed up in some swerving about at tabor and left some skin and blood up there, proving getting taken out and torn up can’t break his beaming smile.  my theory: each mishap channels an inhuman rage used to fuel his pedal shearing (true story!) horse legs.  dreamboats mark and steve held hands to victory in the six day, and we scored an assortment of ice at the team track state champs. i learned that keirins are fun until you get knocked sideways into the air.  we’ve been banging on mt. tabor but always forget to make a plan first…  one last chance for smoke and mirrors.  AVC is coming up and i’m shaking in my boots.  i’m hoping to get it together enough to help the pink force, but that race is for real. at least i can work on my tanlines.  we miss our ‘veed, and hope that he comes back from florida with a testarossa, white pants, tubbs, and a not sore back.

Elkhorn Stage Race Final GC
1 193 Routley Will Symmetrics 7:32:53.4
2 135 Rowe Kevin Team Bobs-Bicycles.com 7:33:04.9
3 179 Mayfield Justin Team Bobs-Bicycles.com 7:33:32.3
4 156 Connor Trevor Chris Cookies/Swan Cycles 7:34:41.6
5 152 Blackwelder Mark Gentle Lovers 7:35:05.0
6 126 Glick David Organic Athlete 7:35:14.5
7 166 Hamilton Nic 7:35:37.7
8 123 Pickett Evan Metromint Cycling on Marin Bikes 7:35:46.9
9 120 Johnson Sam Hagens Berman Cycling 7:36:24.2
10 171 Keogh Quinn CMG/ Bike n Hike /Russell Hosner

BELIEVE

Photo provided by the Center of Natural Sciences in Prato, Italy.

The staff at the offices of Gentle Lovers LLC would like to announce their official endorsement of Doug Ollerenshaw for the winner of the Mt. Tabor Criterium, Stage 2 of the 2008 Mt. Hood Cycling Classic. The mighty unicorn has blessed this gentle volcano and once a mortal has ridden on this steed, his power is always with you.

Go Doug!!